Women In Gaming

Hire A Babysitter

The simplest, most straightforward solution would be to leave the children at home with a babysitter while parents go out and game.

Pros

Game: No disruption of play, both parents free to participate the whole time.

Cons

Babies: Must use expressed breast milk. There may be some discomfort for mother during regular nursing time.
Parenting Concerns: Any time children are left with a sitter there may be some concerns over safety, bedtime, etc. These are not a problem if you have established a good relationship with a sitter.
Other Concerns: Co$t. A good gaming session lasts longer than a dinner out and a movie, and sitters are payed by the hour. It can add up to a good amount of money, especially if it’s a weekly event. Even if you’re lucky enough to have a grandparent available to act as a "free" sitter, there may be a cost, just in a different coin. Teen-aged sitters may be in demand on week-ends and totally unavailable during the school week.

Call In

Stay at home with the kids, but phone in to the hosts house, where you are put on the speaker phone.

Pros

Parenting Factors: Little disruption of child’s schedule.

Cons

Game Factors: It must take some adapting to have one player present only on the phone. There still may be some disruption as mother cares for child.
Other Factors: Host must own a speaker phone. Phone line will be tied up for hours.

Bring Them Along

Pack up your child and cart them over to the usual gaming site. This works very well with the really little ones, who sleep most of the time anyway. The older the child gets, however, the more disruptive it’s likely to become, though it’s worked for at least one W.I.G. member with a three year old (she became her parents dice roller.)

Pros

Babies: No disruption of nursing schedule, don’t need to express milk.
All Ages: Neither parent has to sit out of the game. No babysitting costs.

Cons

Game Factors: No matter how quiet and well behaved the child is, there will be some disruption of the game.
Parenting Concerns: Other: If you game late at night neighbors may begin to be concerned that the child is up too late (depending on h ow close knit the neighborhood is).

Include Them

If they’re old enough, give them a character to play. If not, give them a job to do (dice roller, cheerleader, voice of a spectator, etc.). Many elements of gaming are similar to children’s pretend play, so it’s not such a big stretch…

Pros

Toddlers: They love dice anyway, and they love to be useful. Invest in the biggest set you can find and let ‘em roll!
Parenting Concerns: They’re right there, so you know what they’re getting up to. Family activities should be things the parents enjoy as much as the kids, right?
Game Factors: Kids can add a lot of energy and creativity to the game, and you don’t have to lose one or more player to caregiving.

Cons

Babies: Not an option.
Parenting Concerns: This might be the "acid test" for how polite and well behaved your children are. Obviously may not be a good choice for certain genres or styles of play.
Game Factors: The GM, players, parents and non-players may each feel more constrained than usual in dealing with certain situations, dealing from morality to sexuality to violence. Even if they’re your kids, and you know they’re mature enough to handle the regular flow of the game, other players may not be comfortable with it.

Leave Baby with Daddy

The baby books all recommend you give the father some alone time with baby anyway, why not take advantage of it and go gaming.

Pros

Parenting Concerns: Child is with a familiar person. No worries about of bed-time, rules, etc.
Game Factors: No untoward interruptions.

Cons

Game Factors: Only one parent can be in a game. This is hard on the entire game group.
Other Factors: Not a possibility for a single mother. May act as a focus for family strife if father is not "pulling his weight" with the children, or if there is a dispute about division of household labor.

Game at Home

Simply declare your house the gaming house, and be perpetual hostess. You can schedule games to start after bedtime to minimize interruptions.

Pros

Parenting Factors: Minimal disruption of children’s schedule. House is certain to be child safe. Game Factors: Both parents available for game.

Cons

Game Factors: Still might be occasional disruption of game if child has a nightmare or if sleep is disrupted.
Other Factors: Might be a problem if home is not big enough, not centrally located, or if there are allergies involved. Complications may arise if there is another couple with children in gaming group.

Bulk Sitting

If more than one couple has children, hold the game at the largest home, and have all the children present. One set of parents selects a competant babysitter, and all the gamers chip in to pay (usually) her.

Pros

Game Factors: All parents can be there.
Parenting Factors: Multiple children are good at entertaining each other. Minimal sleep disruption for the family whose house is being used.

Cons

Game Factors: There will probably still be some disruption because, even with the sitter there, the children may want parents to settle disputes.
Other Factors: Gamers who don’t have children may be less willing to chip in for babysitting.

Go PBM/PBeM

Give up face to face gaming completely (for a period of time, at least) and switch to Play By Mail Games.

Pros

Parenting Factors: Game can be worked around childs schedule. No need for babysitters or amusing child while at game
Game Factors: Game won’t be interrupted by needing to tend to child’s needs because e-mail is asynchronous communication to begin with.

Cons

Game Factors: Still have to quit out of existing games, or change them radically. Some women may miss the face-to-face interaction and socialization.