Women In Gaming

Inspiration for this page came from a comment on rec.games.frp.misc about "what to do if you’re gaming and get a contraction". It occured to me that I have the experience to answer that one…

My first instinct was to say that it’s a non-issue. My knee jerk reaction is that being pregnant doesn’t mean an end to gaming, the idea is ridiculous! Inflammatory! Pregnant women can do everything! Isn’t this kind of thinking the beginnings of all sexism?! Yadda…yadda…yadda….

Then I remembered my own pregnancies, and how they really did influence my social life, gaming included. Here are some of the things I learned. This is not a definitive guide, just a few thoughts:

Throughout Pregnancy

You’re hormones are going nuts, in an absolute uproar. You’re going to be going through nine months of PMS. You’ve got to make sure you get enough rest, and eat enough nutritious food, both for your baby and for yourself. You’re going to have to re-think a lot of your priorities, both now and when your (first) baby comes.

For me, dropping gaming was never a good option. It’s too major a part of my social life, and too much of a creative outlet, to ever give it up. But I did have to cut back during parts of my pregnancies, just because of energy level considerations.

When you’re pregnant, it becomes an all-encompassing fact of life, and sometimes it’s hard to realize that other people aren’t totally possessed by your pregnancy the way you are. Gaming is one of those social situations where you’re likely to deal with individuals (mostly men) who are very uncomfortable with your pregnancy. It may seem to you that some gamers in your group are acting a little squirrelly around you. Odds are, they’re a little nervous about your condition, and, at the same time, afraid that some innocent remark of theirs may make you uncomfortable. Having pointed this out, all I can say is, you game with your friends, you should know the best way to defuse a situation like this.

Early Pregnancy

Don’t overschedule. Especially in the first and third trimesters you’re likely to be tired. I did a fair amount of gaming lying down on a sofa, and having my husband roll dice for me. You may not have time or energy for game planning, so be prepared to let other people run games for a while.

If you’re gaming in a group of mostly non-parents, they will have to be reminded that YOU get the seat closest to the bathroom. It’s your right, even if you’re lucky enough to avoid morning sickness, your kidneys will still be working overtime.

On a similar note, nobody but you is going to know how food affects you. If you always have pizza at games and now you can’t stand to look at it, suggest a switch. Bring along snacks you can eat — if you’ve got cravings, supply them. The first rule of pregnancy is _never_ let yourself get hungry. If that means gnoshing on leaks while everyone else is wolfing down chips and salsa, fine. Go for it!

Middle pregnancy

This is the fun part, at least it was for me. Energy levels go back up, nausea subsides, and you start to feel kicks! This is when people are probably going to start telling you you’ve got the "glow".

You’re likely to be showing, so fellow gamers are more likely to treat you as fragile, even though you’re feeling ready to take on the world. Try not to be offended when they seem over solicitous, remember, they’ve just put up with the first trimester. Just smile and offer to run a mini-campaign.

Late Pregnancy

You get tired again. Braxton Hicks Contractions get strong enough to hurt once in a while, as do the baby’s kicks.

Again, you may need to educate your fellow gamers. If you start to have BH contractions they may have panicked facts of having to deliver the baby then and there. I used to keep track of the contractions well before my due-date, and I’m sure that many of my fellow gamers found it distracting, I know my husband did…:->

Once again, you’re likely to be tired a lot. The difference is that now everyone who sees you expects you to be wiped — you’re carrying around a lot of extra weight and it’s completely visible.

What if you go into labor during a game

Hey! What a great story! "No shit, there we were…."

Seriously, avoiding games because you’re 38 weeks along and things might start any day now is pretty silly. Just make sure you keep your birthing bag packed and in the car, and you’re set.

Pre-labor cramps are intense enough to be distracting, but infrequent enough to give you a breather in between. In themselves they won’t prevent you from gaming (or doing almost anything else you want to do), but knowing that you’re getting close to giving birth may be way too distracting to get any gaming done, for you, your spouse, and the other gamers. If everyone’s willing to give it a try, there’s no harm in it

Thoughts about Pregnancy Complications

I was reasonably lucky - I was on bedrest for about 5 days throughout the two pregnancies due to premature contractions. It’s very, very hard to do, because you’re healthy, but you’re restricted to bed. Any mental activity is helpful as a sanity saver. This might be a good time to work on world design, or, if you’re up to it invite a few people to come over and game with you - just remember, you’re supposed to stay prone so don’t get up to play hostess.

Comments

White Crow suggests:

Make sure to only game at houses with AC. I didn’t have this problem quite as much as another gamer, but she overheated really easy. Never game in evenings, since you tend to get spacey. One problem I found was I couldn’t sit in soft backed chairs/couches without my back hurting, so I had to make sure that the gaming area had an appropriately stiff backed chair.

References

There’s really nothing special about pregnancy and gaming - you just have to realize that pregnancy affects every aspect of your life, your gaming included. For more information on how, you might want to check out misc.kids.pregnancy on usenet or some other pregnancy information.

And now… the pregnant player-character.

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